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He’s pounding you like a rock-hard human sex god and you’re hot and horny and then…his scrunched up face and tight breathing tells you he’s climaxing. A suppressed look of desperation crosses your face for an instant because you haven’t freakin’ orgasmed yet. In fact, you’re not even close.
Then…it’s all over. He looks at you, breathing heavily and glistening in sweat, and asks you if you finished, too (or something along those lines). But you didn’t. Your orgasm slipped away, and you chalk that up as just one more frustrating sexual experience.
Just about everyone knows that men tend to orgasm quicker and with less effort than women. This has caused many women to think that there’s something “wrong” with their lady bits or that they’re in some way dysfunctional.
This is a myth that I bust in my upcoming book The Orgasm Prescription. The good news for women everywhere is that yes, you really can experience body-shattering orgasms. Much of it requires overcoming mental blocks like body shame.
For the sake of your orgasmic pleasure, here’s a curated collection of over 34 ideas you can use to orgasm faster and easier – and with more pleasurable, deeper waves of ecstasy.
These ideas have been mined from a long list of sources, including scientific publications, the experiences of hundreds of women worldwide, and my own research into the female orgasm.
So go ahead – get ready to play with yourself and your lover with these 34+ orgasm-worthy ideas.
1. Try riding him cowgirl style, going up and down on him. Then have him suck, lick, and bite on your nipples until you climax. For many women, these dual sensations – resulting from both riding him and having him toy with your breasts – are enough to send them into the erotic bliss of orgasm.
2. Ask him to tell you when he’s about to come. Just hearing him say “I’m about to come, baby” (or something similar) can be a super turn-on.
3. Try taking more control of your sexuality, and open up to your partner about what you really want him to do to you – whether he’s giving you oral or penetrating you. For a truly enjoyable sexual life, communication about your own desires and needs is incredibly important.
4. Rub your clit against his penis. He holds his penis on your clit while you grind against it. This can be especially easy in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position, and this allows you to get super aroused by moving and thrusting your clit in a way that arouses you.5. “For me what gets me closer every time is hearing how horny my partner is. Hearing him moan really helps,” says Reddit user lefluffybunnies. And many women can confirm just how orgasmically hot man-moaning is! If your man isn’t too vocally expressive in bed, let him know that it’s fine for him to show you just how good it feels when he’s inside you.
6. Lie on your back and pull up your legs to your shoulders while he pounds into you. Then, simultaneously rub your clitoris – and don’t hesitate to use your fingers to feel his penis move in and out, which can be exceptionally hot.
7. Also try this: lie on your stomach with your legs squeezed shut together. He penetrates you deeply while on top of you – and you do kegels. Keeping your legs together makes you tighter “down there,” and the kegels create even more friction which can feel heavenly for both of you.
8. “Finger me, lick my clit, and rub my breast with the other hand. Works every time,” muses Reddit user PeanutGalaxy. Ask your man to try this next time he goes down on you.
9. Get on top of him, cowgirl style. But this time instead of just riding up and down on him (or grinding against him), go ahead and finger your clit!
10. Use a blindfold to block off your eyesight. By depriving yourself of the sense of sight, you are amplifying your other senses – which can give you a greater, more powerful orgasm experience.
15. Next time he’s eating you out, buck and gyrate your hips against his tongue so that you’re getting oral in just the way you want it.16. Getting bored with the same ole sex position? Then just switch it up with a new sex position you’ll both love. This novelty itself may be enough for you to reach climax.
17. Sometimes I encourage the women I work with to play a fantasy in their mind while having sex. If you feel hesitant about this, just know that fantasizing while having sex is NOT cheating – and your fantasy can certainly involve just you and your significant other. So if you’ve got a fantasy you go to when you want to come while masturbating, use that fantasy – and others – to orgasm while having sex with your partner.
18. Hold a vibrator to your clit while he’s pummeling you in missionary position. In fact, try this with any other sex positions you like.
19. Make a game out of having sex. A quick trip to a sex shop will reveal several different possible sex games, but you don’t even have to purchase anything special. Honestly, nearly any game can be turned into something hot and naughty. For example, turn your favorite board game (whether it’s Monopoly or checkers or something else) into something sexy and fun: whoever loses a piece or lands on a property or whatever, has to take off an article of clothing or perform a sexual act on their partner (such as oral sex). The resulting tension can be tremendous and leave you dripping wet – and more than ready to orgasm.20. Elevate your diet by adding some natural aphrodisiacs, such as raw cacao nibs, dates, pickled ginger, and more. These tasty natural foods can, over time, enhance your ease of orgasming.
21. Stimulate your clitoris prior to sex by dabbing some clit-warming or clit-arousing gel on it.
22. Weird, but this could work for you: leave your socks on while you’re getting down and dirty. Scientists have discovered that both women and men experience orgasms more easily when wearing socks during sex – at least if you’re in a room where your feet might get cold.
23. Ask your guy to manscape his chest – or below the belt. While many women do love it when a guy’s got lots of hair, not all women do – and his new look can introduce some freshness in bed that’ll give you added pleasure.
24. Prepare to get wild in bed by lacing your room with erotic aphrodisiac scents, like vanilla, lavender, and jasmine.
25. Kinda bored in bed? Spice things up a notch by role playing. Actually act out fantasies that you and your partner have. Common role playing fantasies among women and men include the hot nurse fantasy, student and teacher, and boss and secretary. But you are not at all limited to these fantasies – just try one you think you’ll enjoy!
26. Following that train of thought, for an even greater chance of orgasming, actually dress the part. So if he’s the boss and you’re the hot secretary, deck yourself out in a tight pencil skirt with a flirty shirt and racy lingerie underneath. Try not to break “character” until you’ve climaxed!
27. Learn to embrace your kinky side! By acting out your kinks and fetishes – whether you think he looks extra hot in reading glasses or really anything else – you may discover that it’s easier for you to orgasm. Not sure how to broach this subject with your partner? Begin by sending him (or her) links to porn or erotica that appeal to you. He’ll quickly get the idea of what your kinky side looks like!
28. Experiment with dirty talk. Many women are able to orgasm quicker when sex is accompanied by sizzling hot, scandalous talk.
29. If your partner is down for this, ask him to give you a rimjob before he enters you (either anally or vaginally). This new sensation in that area of your booty could be exactly what you need to eventually orgasm.
30. Try a little lust-and-thrust somewhere new. If you’d prefer to start slow, enjoy sex in a totally different part of the house – maybe even on the dining room table. Then start having sex in a little bit more risqué places – like in your car. Often these sexual experiences in new places will teach you more about your own sexuality and help give you the O.
31. Many women find it pleasurable to listen to particular kinds of music while making out and making love. From RnB to dubstep, preferences vary widely. Find songs that have a tendency to get you sexually riled up and play it the next time you want to get it on with your partner.32. Locking eye contact with your honey during sex can be supremely erotic – and this Tantric technique can push you into an ocean of orgasmic delight.
33. Do kegels while he’s eating you out. The result? A super intense orgasm that can leave you writhing in pleasure.
34. Here’s a creative orgasm-inducing idea: have sex in front of a mirror, so you can see all the dirty action you and your lover are doing together. You can even install mirrors on your bed’s headboard or anywhere else you’d like. “My room has sliding mirror closet doors and my bed is parallel to it. Love having sex and looking over to the mirror. Watching myself while I’m on top is amazing. Being able to see his reactions when we’re in doggy is enough to send me over the edge,” reports Reddit user mysexytimeacct.
35. Don’t forget to breathe deeply during sex! The deep breaths help you block out distractions around you or in your mind. By focusing on the pleasure, you’ll reach orgasm quicker.
36. Before having sex, remove reminders of work or chores you need to do. Since women often find it difficult to orgasm because of mental obstacles – like stress from work – removing these reminders (like dirty laundry in the room) allows you to focus on the sexual, blissful pleasure you so rightly deserve.
To your vitality & passion, with love,
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