A few years ago I appeared on the Dr. Oz show, a popular daytime TV show in America to talk about serious diseases found in women over 40 which often go untreated or are missed due to women failing to recognize or simply dismissing the symptoms. Many people were shocked to hear me say that, at that time, I recommended that my patients have at least 3 orgasms per week. In the context of recognizing a potential symptom of type 2 diabetes, for example, it made sense. A low libido, decreased arousal and lack of orgasm are often found in people with sludgy blood vessels and poor nerve conduction brought on by high blood sugar (and high blood pressure, too.)
To tell the truth, the female orgasm started out as one clever gauge of overall health and wellness. Using the sexual response as an indicator of physical health quickly became an opening for honest discussions around intimacy, pleasure and sexual satisfaction for my clients and members of our online wellness community. Now, however, it is much more than that. In addition to providing a barometer of wellbeing and health, today the orgasm is an indicator of personal empowerment, self-acceptance and self-love and an affirmation of a woman’s right to enjoy pleasure in her body and overall life.
I know that many women are frustrated with how elusive orgasm can be for them. And while orgasm is integral to the sensual and erotic process it should not be accompanied by performance pressure. Achieving orgasm is complex and should not be graded as a ‘pass-fail’ sex test. But since so many women expressed deep despair that sexual problems have caused a rupture of the precious relationship with their partners I have dedicated my time to bringing you the best resources on the planet to empower you.
One thing you should know is this, it’s not about the orgasm. On this show you will learn how to enhance your orgasmic capacity and boost erotic pleasure but equally important is the aim of deepening your intimate connection with your lover and transforming sex into a sacred act. I know it sounds deep, but there is so much more to sex than orgasm.
Learn how to blast through the barriers to orgasm
How many orgasms per week are right for you?
In medicine I often prescribe treatments that are customized for the patient based on their age, weight, height, gender, and organ function. That’s because we have population studies which tell us minimum dosing and how quickly the condition responds to treatment.
However, when it comes to erotic pleasure and sexual satisfaction, there is no magical formula! In writing and researching this book I interacted with nearly one thousand women who were on a mission to orgasm and now I have a new perspective on the weekly orgasm quota.
Your personal orgasm prescription is precisely that, personal. Your orgasm prescription can and should be written by you based on your body, brain and overall sense of bliss. The goal is not to achieve some high score, but rather to identify your personal prescription that will enable you to have a fulfilling sexual life in radiant, sensual vitality.
I’m here to offer you a guide for understanding your own arousal system, how you can increase desire and pleasure, how you can achieve orgasm and how to determine how many are right for you. Above all, my goal is to empower you to reclaim your sensual vitality and affirm your right to sexual satisfaction now and for many years to come. (Pun intended!)
Studies show more women can reach climax when oral sex is involved
What if you can’t get there? Common orgasm blockers & how to overcome them
So, if you’re having a hard time experiencing orgasm, what should you do? Where do you look first?
In my free audio report on the Top 5 Reasons You’re NOT Having an Orgasm, I explain that the most common causes can be overcome pretty simply. You can download the report for free, so be sure to get it!
The first thing I recommend, as I said on the Dr. Oz show, is to have a health check-up to determine if you have any easily treatable hormonal or medical issues. The best way to make sure you’re getting adequate blood flow to your lady parts, which is crucial for arousal and orgasm, is to have normal blood pressure and blood sugar levels. So get them checked.
Getting regular physical activity and exercise, to the tune of 30-45 minutes per day 4-5 days per week, can really help blood flow as well as boost your testosterone (needed for sexual desire.) Plus exercise helps you release brain chemicals needed for excitement, arousal, and orgasm.
Beyond these physical issues, it goes without saying that if you are not in a healthy relationship with a foundation of safety, intimacy, communication and trust it is going to be hard to achieve orgasm.
4. Next on the list are the very common, very annoying mental obstacles to orgasm. From being preoccupied with how you look, what your partner thinks of you to worry about whether the kids or neighbors can hear you moaning to fears about negative consequences of being sexual or going through your list of things to do, if you are stuck in your head, distracted by mental or environmental noise, orgasm is going to seem as far away as Mt. Everest.
5. Another big hurdle to ecstasy seen mainly in women is the feeling that you just don’t deserve pleasure. Think about this. Do you ever feel like you have to give more than you receive? Do you feel guilty at times when you take a spa day, or buy something new or indulge in me-time? If you find it difficult to receive pleasure, compliments or self-gratification, you may have a hard time surrendering to the erotic pleasure enough to reach orgasm.
6. Next, are you waiting for your partner to get you off? So many women over the years started off their complaints by telling me: Dr. Andrea, my man just doesn’t make me come. And to that I say, honey, you should never give up responsibility for your pleasure. Your orgasm is your responsibility. It may not be popular, but it’s the most empowering and honest and realistic approach to harmony between the sheets – or on the living room floor, back seat of the car…
Seriously, ladies, if your partner doesn’t have the skills or techniques you either need to tell him what it takes, climb on top so you get more clitoral stimulation, ask him to go down on you (studies show more women can climax when oral sex is involved) or use your fingers, his fingers or a vibrator. The point is if you lay back like a ‘pillow princess’ giving over the responsibility to make you come, you will likely leave unsatisfied.
Tune in to turn on
As far back as the 70’s with the research at the Kinsey Institute, one key to helping couples, women especially, become more orgasmic involves tuning into your senses. Hence the name, Sensual Vitality. With regular practice of mindfulness, meditation, yoga and breathing exercises you can learn to turn off the judgmental mind and quiet your inner critic while tuning into pleasure in your body, in the here and now. This has been proven in so many clinical populations to be a major key to improving erotic desire, physical arousal and orgasmic release. It also can help you attune to your partner to enhance intimacy and pleasure in amazing ways.
There are a number of free meditations and mindfulness exercises available here and in my upcoming free video training series, we will delve into these tools to help you boost desire, improve body confidence and enhance erotic intimacy.
If all else fails, you have three easy, fast ways to help you experience orgasm:
1. Masturbate with a vibrator
2. Think about or act out a sexual fantasy while masturbating or with your partner
3. Read erotic fiction – alone or together, or watch erotic films. There are plenty of women-created films today, it’s not the dirty old porn of yesteryear.
Be sure to download the special audio report & e-book covering the Top 5 Reasons You’re NOT Having an Orgasm (and how to overcome them.)
To your passion & vitality,
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Dr. Andrea Pennington is a respected integrative medicine physician, acupuncturist, TV host & bestselling author specializing in longevity, sex education and life transformation with positive psychology and mindfulness.
She is author of The Orgasm Prescription for Women and the creator of The Attunement Meditation Process.
As an international TEDx & keynote speaker Dr. Andrea inspires audiences around the world to live with ageless vitality, passion & purpose.
She is also a regular health, beauty and wellness expert featured on television and radio programs around the world.
As a highly sought-after personal brand strategist, medical journalist and author with 20+ years experience in TV production, marketing and media distribution she is Managing Director of Make Your Mark Global, LTD.